someday i wish upon a star, and ake up where the clouds are faaaaaar behyind meee



I'm not mad at him.. i dont know what i am yet..
i feel like im mad at him.. but i know i cant be.. he was so sweet andf lovely after that i didnt know what i think
im not writting about happpend.
anyone that was there knows it all.
i'm gonna write about after school though..
i left the exam.. meet up eith him and it was all fine..
i said sorry, he told me he loved me and gave me a kiss.. we walked round, got drinks and hot chippies.. Hayden left.
thats when it all went wrong.
we walked to the park and he just sat on the swings and told me off for not waiting. i didnt know what to sday or do really.. i tried tyo explain it to him but he really just told me it was my fault we were arguing ad that i should have waited and not done what everyone else was doing ...
i dont know.,. we argued for a while , i got really upset and just stopped talking.. i started singing to myself over and over "soeday I'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind meeee" it made me wish i was about to go on the cruise again.. in liuke two days time.. to just leave..
get away from everything..
while singing it i thought bout the time we went down to the corbner and had our first kiss.. i fought back tears jand just danced and sung..
he told me i wasd lying and that i wasnt okay.. i said i was fine and kept singing.. i guess i didnt know what to say rleally.. i couldnt haandle getting yelled at again.. at one point i asked him if this was going to be one of those ights where he comes online and i end up writting millions of blogs about hyow upset i am and how he;s hurting me.. he didnt reply for a while then said probably.. i didnt talk for a while after that.. i said fuuine, walked a little ahead so he didnt see me wipe the tears away and kept singing my line.. we got down to the feild park thing and he started going on about the ball and how shit it was.. it tok me a while to click but i got what he was on in the end.. i asked him why and again just stopped talking.. by the time we got to the end of the path he wrapped his arms around me, looked me in the eyes anbd told me he was sorry.. i told him not to be and kept walking, he pulled on my arm, maaed me stop walking and said it again.. everytime he said it i told him not to be t\and that it wasnt his faut\lt.. i wish i had the guts to just tell him how much it hurts me when he dioes shit like this..
just hanging up on me hurt enough..
i didnt look at him for a while then when i did he told me abbout how he was trhinking about me in the exam, tht he thinks he's so lucky to have me and that i deserve better, i shook my head when he said that and buried my face in his chest, he went on to tell me about how much he reallly loves me and that he wants things to go back to how they were when we were so in love and just always wanted to spend every minute together.,. i told him that i still do and that we dont because he gets so sick of mne all the time and that iu wish we could but im scared too.
i think that hurt him though.. he asked when i thought that and why i did i cried a little and told hij that i thought it because of the time i stayed over at his for so long that i left in tears cause he didnt want me hugging him or beingh near him.. then we fought for the next two days.. the thought of that made me cry some more and he wiped away my tears and made a joke about stopping the water works.. i smiled a bit and just stood there for a while loinger.. he told me some more things that he wanted nd loved and we kept walking.. by the time we got to the corner everything was starting to get alright..
he kissed me and i smiled then he grinned and said that that was the smile he was looking for, kept kissing me and we ended up walking off..
lallaa
when we got to westgate it was all hppy joy till we got to bk.. then i dont know what happend..
I'm confused.. hurt and dont think i want to think about any of this agin..
i want to go away for a few days again.. and i dont like the things that go thro9ugh my mind we all this shit happens.

Aquamarine protects against gossip.
Aquamarine helps pick up your spirits.
Aquamarine is a good meditation gemstone - most powerful when used in this way, because it brings greater peace and serenity - for deep meditations.
Aquamarine is said to have protective powers for those at sea.
Aquamarine helps you get in touch with with your spiritual being.
Aquamarine is said to give insight and foresight.
Aquamarine gives the wearer feelings of friendship, harmony and trust.
Aquamarine is used in very advanced meditation to help see the truth.
Aquamarine is meant to help quicken the intellect.
Aquamarine is believed to help couples to sort out differences.
Aquamarine is often used as a good luck gemstone.


Black onyx is used in India to ward off 'the evil eye'.
Black Onyx helps stop your energy being drained away.
Black Onyx helps with stress.
Black Onyx is believed to sharpen the whitts of the person wearing the gemstone.
Black Onyx is considered the gemstone to "feel better with".
Black Onyx helps repel negative energy surrounding others opinions and ideas.
Black Onyx is good for entrepreneurs and inventors
Black Onyx helps create emotional stability.
Black Onyx absorbs and flattens emotions intensity.
Black Onyx guards against negativity.
Black Onyx can be used as a defense in many disagreements or 'battles'.
Black Onyx is associated with the planet Saturn.
Black Onyx governs the 1st chakra - root chakra.

Aquamarine protects against gossip.
Aquamarine helps pick up your spirits.
Aquamarine is a good meditation gemstone - most powerful when used in this way, because it brings greater peace and serenity - for deep meditations.
Aquamarine is said to have protective powers for those at sea.
Aquamarine helps you get in touch with with your spiritual being.
Aquamarine is said to give insight and foresight.
Aquamarine gives the wearer feelings of friendship, harmony and trust.
Aquamarine is used in very advanced meditation to help see the truth.
Aquamarine is meant to help quicken the intellect.
Aquamarine is believed to help couples to sort out differences.
Aquamarine is often used as a good luck gemstone.

xD Lukas' mum is greeat 
This afternoon was lots of fun :p i hung out with bernie and we just bummed aorund her room(: i read the cute things she texts top harry(: 
mums being pissy though >.< she wants me to clean my room to her standards which means i prolly wont be allowed to do anything this weekend :/ she wants me to clean under my bed, get rid of all my old clothes and wash the walls? since when did you have to wash walls! fdgjksilghj >.< gurr :/
this weekend isnt looking good. .  someone make this week good >.< 

 we go on our cruise in 38 days >.< 
im not excited. i do not want to go, i wish i could get out of itt :/ 
mums getting pissy at me for sayingt hat i dpnt want to go but dshjgfjkshdfjkh, i dont want to be away for that looong, it's on a thursday, so i probably wont be at school on wednesday >.< i thinkwe get back sunday though >.< if wre get back early I'll try go see people(: ten days ten days >.< i need to buy a 2 degrees sim card so i can still text popele, and find an all around the world calling plan and steal someones phone so i can actually call poeple fkdghfsjkhds fuck i dont want to gooooooooooooooooooooo 
who wants to kidnap me and hid me in there closet? please? i wont eat much i promise(: 

Today i will get my room cleaned. i had waffles for breakfast :p they were veryy nommy (:
im really tired though and want to play Music really loudly and dance around >.< this mihgt not go down too well with the whole cleaning my room thing though, but il try ^-^ 

Mmmmmmmm having the dayy off school today >.<
i felt uber sixck last night o idndt have a chance to write all the stuff i wanted tooo, i think i'll just go write it all in the other blog though >.< i dont have the computer for long though so i has to hurryyyyy >.<  

 this weekend 
when i wrote some of the stuff from when i first got there so if i repeat something its not my faaault 
we went out to dinner with his family and some friendss...  i sat there talking to his little brother about lal this random shit xD then Taylor mad him eat the lemon peals and a bunch of other icky stuff >.< Dinnetr was verry nommy thuogh :p i had some weird chicken thingy (: then after dinner me and his mum shared lychees and icecrreeam ^-^ they were sooo gooooood(: >.< Lukas was bullying me though cause he thought i had said cheese -_- i didnt! go away!  then we went back to Lukas and me and him watched mooovies(: haha we were lying on his bed for hooours(:  it was sososososo wonderful >.< 
ROFL! HARRY WALKED IN ON KEKO AND RUPA HAVING SEX
okiee okiee back to my weekend xD 
it was wonderful >.< his parents just left us down stairs to do as we pleaseeee, it was greeeat . ..  i wish my mum would do that xD my mum is all iffy about that kinda thing and would likee. . . yell at us till we went out into the lounge xD his mum even knocked and said that she hopes we were descent before she came iiin xD i love his family! >.< there so lovely (except his brother, noone managed to point out that many of my flaws in a single hour than he did >.<) we watched movies till about 11 then his mum came down and sad that i had to go upstairs at 11:30(: we finished the movie and he put on some sily family guy thing *didnt pay any attention to it* i think it was something i had already seen though cause i kinda reconised it :p
when i had to go up stairs the bed was hugeeeee >.<  was likee. .  woah xD haha we said goodnihgt and stuff then he went back down and i started to get changed, he thought this was the best time to walk back in and say that he wanted another kiss xD (; good timing. haha 9: i lay in the huge bed rolling around for ages trying to make it comfty i ended up putting all the pillows in a circle, curling up in the middle and textuing him for a whilee(: it was all snuggly and i feel asleep five minutes before half time so he didnt come see me again >.< ooooh! butni got to sleep with his pillow(: in the morning i think i woke up like 4 timeees, i was just avoiding going out incause my make up was all smuddgy and shit xD i finally gave up caring, kinda and ran to the bath room:p ooooh! ther bath! it's like hugeee and has little jet thingys. .  im going to steal it. then i ran alll the way down stairs(: and founnd Lukas sitting on the computer in only shooorts :P 
i lay in his bed for a whilee then he got ready for football and stuff(: i stayed with his mum and brother for the first hour and stuff ^-^ it was soooo cuteee! she got out a bunch of photos and showed me Lukas when he was a little kid :P and photos from when they go camping and a bunch of others :D haha i love herr shes so lovely(: and she feed me xD it was this weird pizza thingy (: haha i didnnt ask what was on it cause i didnt wantto know what oi was really eating but it was yommy(: haha from the photos she showed me it looks like she has bunches of fubn with everything she does(: i like. . idolise her xD when me and His brother were sitting on the couch, she was tlaking on the phone to someone and kept asking me things that they must have been asking her :p it was odd, then she was likeee, "she's very cutee. .  haha shes got the giggles now" "oh well, we should be off now, i bet Lukas is lookijng out for his sweetheart" xD that made me lol so mucccch, it was so cutee >.< im convinced Lukas was probably like, Freaking out that i was alone with his mum tbh xD 
hehe ^-^  then we went and watched the football gameeee (: in the car i got questioned about a bunch of stuff xD "so, do you know Kim?" "yeah, i dont like herrr" "well for obvious reasons" "nah, she's just too pretty. .  thats why xD" "oh, , okiee?"
hjdsfklhdszfkjhdsgf after the game we went back to his and went to the park with Hayden(: He's okiee i spose. . i didnt really talk to him(: just watched. . 
then we went back to his houusseee and had dineerrr(: it was nommy :P
after dinner we went down to his room and watched some of chitty chitty bang bang xD that was so cuteee! i want to watch the wholeee thing(: i already know the lyrics to two of the songs :P haha when i got home and started reading blogs Sophies title made me lol, i think she's been following me(; 
then i got picked uuup >.< i didnt want to go ): 
and yeah(: that was some of my weekend ^-^ 

hah(: im staying at Lukas toniiight :p
his mummy is sooo sweeet(: and really funny xD when i got here she thought it was a good idea to show me photos of Lukas when he was a little kid xD He was so cutteee!! xD then she took a photo of us with his little brother and sent it to other people >.< oooh! and i got a hug from her ^-^ haha :P shes lovely, Lukas doesnt seem to think so though, he was being mean and calling her weird, shes nooot! xD sdgkjvhdfgkvlfh i dont want to eat infront of them! they might look at meeee!1! hehe ^-^ and i was looking at all of his books and found a photo album xD theres so many photos everywhere :p it's adorable (: and there house iss sooooo pretty, its really big and woooaaaaah (:
we're going out for dinner :p i feel so special xD fkglkrdfjg ^-^
Lukas wants me to play fifa with him xD im so going to kick his ass! when i get off this. .  :D
and were going to watch the football tonight :P

(: 
yesterday at schoool was wonderful :P i hung out with lots of people ^-^ me and nina are alwayyys laghing ?:P 
we made a plan on how to get rod of Kim xD she keeps just being around where ever i am when im with Luklas at break and i dont like it xD  zeal was great ^-^! xD lots of things happend! i wish i could remember it allll! >.< 
i had chocolate for breakfast xD i brought it at countdown before me and Lukas caught the buus :P i hardly ate annyyything yesterday >.> my tummy was feeling silly all day from it >.< i will eat enough today though(: 

come on all you vampires with all your blood sucking ways
ooooooooooooh when the lights go out how you gonna find your way?

i had soooo much to write about! 
okieee lets try, after school i ran around gettign ready while piquet went to get stuff anddo somt stuffs for mummy :P when he got homeee i got dropped off at westgate and he gave me moneys to buy chocolate!! ^-^ it was very nomyy :P me and Lukas went and got on the bus ^^ that was niceee xD i sat there eating chocoltaeee and he was holding mee :P it was so cutee! ^-^ when we finallllyyyy got there, we saw keko, rupa and Ninja!! :D ooooh! ninja piercing is sooo cutee :P it's lie. .  little and ahwww ^-^ looots of other people cameee! it was one of the biggest zeal gigs id ever been too! i loved it :D
watching all the poeple look they were fighting invisable unicorns xD geesh! running around to tell meagan that i ran into the chair, slipped over on the mat and fell right onto the floor xD it hurt ooo much but i keopt running and ouuuuuchies! my theigh HATES me now xD we brought sugar again xD i dont know why but when ever we have sugar everything just seems that so much more fun xD ieujkhdgdsghdsgh WORDS!
indread were amazzzzingggg(: im so glad i stayed inside, thankies Lukas for making meee (:
ooooh! and i pushed the chairs together and lay on lukas :P everyone was giving me the weirdest looks and saking him what i was doing xD 
Meagan tries stealing mee :P it hink she got kinda pissy though cause Lukas would always just pull me back xD then he would pull a face whenever i tried to go to her :P
it was a wonderwonderfulwonderful niiight(: i have amazing friends, oooh! me and Kav talked the other day, on msn. . . we had like a full convo without totally teasing or hatoing on each other, unless you count me telling keko that he was a hwore and i dont see how i liekd him and bitching about everything he said the wholeee time. .  he tried to tell me that he didnt smilee that day! wtf, who doesnt smileee >.< fjkhdsf it was pissy. .  but i was proud(: 
flvdjghghkljfg im listening to CoB :D they might be coming! and Cradle of filth! ooooh soo many good bands are comigbn sooon ^-^ hehehe i cant waaaait :P